It’s Not Goodbye; It’s See You Later

Something that I have always treasured about the military are the bonds that our military members build with each other. Growing-up as a Military Brat, I witnessed the relationships that my Dad had with his military colleagues and how close they became. Many of those relationships that he and my Mom built over his 20+ years of military service remain today. Those Army friends, became family. Those friends were there for all our birthdays, celebrations, the good times and not-so good times. They were there in my Dad’s final hours alive; supporting him while being there next to my Mom, Sister and I. Most of them watched me grow-up as a newborn and throughout these 22-years of military service. There is something unique and special between military colleagues.

 

When I left my family and friends in California to join the military, there was something immediately missing in my life – my family. Through Basic Combat Training and my job training (Advanced Individual Training), there was not much of an opportunity to build a family relationship – rather we were all doing what we had to do to get through the initial training and embracing the suck together. I did not fully fill that gap until I arrived at my first duty station at Fort Lewis, Washington. It was there I gained my first “military family.” It was my first Platoon Sergeant whom welcomed me to her home and took me under her wing to teach me basic life and military skills. Throughout my career, I have developed lifelong bonds with my military family – we have all experienced many special, unique, life-changing and amazing times together. Throughout the years, my family has significantly grown.

 

Over the last eight years that I’ve been at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, I have had the opportunity to meet so many amazing friends. Two of them have a special place in my heart, as they are such amazing, loving and caring people and have truly became family – Roxie and Amy.

 

I first met Roxie about six years ago through another mutual friend. Roxie is a member of the Fort Bragg Women’s Rugby Football Club, and if you don’t know anything about Rugby – it’s one challenging and rough sport. Shortly following our initial meeting, Roxie invited me to watch one of her Rugby matches on Fort Bragg. As the girls got in their scrums and tackled each other without wearing any pads – I would just cringe thinking about the pain. I quickly admired the ladies that were playing and getting at it! Roxie introduced me to the players, whom were all extremely nice, welcoming and just a fun group of ladies. Roxie would continue to include me in all the Rugby activities, from dinners to parties to other Rugby matches. Overtime, we became extremely close, doing almost everything together – from watching football games to RuPaul’s Drag Race and so on. There wasn’t a day (or as it seemed) that we were not hanging-out or spending time together. About four years ago, she moved to Missouri when I immediately felt lost without my partner-in-crime. We would talk on the phone, FaceTime, and still keep up – but it wasn’t the same. I know she missed her Rugby Family back here in North Carolina – and we missed her too! Last year, she decided to move back to North Carolina where we have all enjoyed so many new memories together! It was like things went back to normal again…. until last week when she made another move. This time, to Tennessee! When she moved back to North Carolina, Roxie landed herself an amazing job – so amazing that her bosses wanted her to relocate to Tennessee. Over the last couple months, we had discussed if she should go or stay. Even though everyone wanted to be selfish and have her stay, we knew this was a great opportunity for her to move forward and gain even more experiences. It’s been a weird week to say the least. Football season started and we weren’t watching the games together. Keeping Up With The Kardashians started again, and Roxie wasn’t there on the couch falling asleep. Thankfully, technology has kept us connected daily – but I sure do miss her!

Within 24-hours of Roxie leaving North Carolina, another friend, Amy, departed North Carolina to Texas. I only meet Amy almost two years ago, but looking back at it now – feels like we’ve known each other for a life time. From the first time meeting her, she quickly became an amazing friend. We’ve had so many amazing experiences together, such as going to baseball games to having some delicious dinners, and so much more.  We also had so many heart-to-heart talks about the military, life, and everything in-between. She is such a caring person that always wants to see others happy – that makes her happy! She and her family hosted us in New Orleans to celebrate my birthday during Mardi Gras. She took us around the town, giving us a local’s perspective of Mardi Gras and had such a remarkable and memorable time. Her brothers even did a seafood boil, allowing me to experience crawfish for the first time. I’ll definitely miss her signature saying of “THERE I AM” as she walked into our apartment; simply said – we have had some amazing times together that I’ll never forget!

Something that I have also experienced in the military – we all have to move at some point. I also quickly learned that it was never a “Good Bye,” rather a “See you later!”

 

SUICIDE AWARENESS MONTH

As I know that I’ll see Roxie and Amy again, there are members of my military family that I will not see again. It saddens me deeply to see that life had become so difficult for them, that they had to choose to end their life. I have lost nearly 30 military friends to suicide – all combat veterans; all men that I felt were resilient. Many of these men were next to me during the toughest and most difficult times in Afghanistan and Iraq.

 

According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs’ 2019 National Veteran Suicide Prevention Annual Report, 45,390 American adults died by Suicide in 2017, of which 6,139 were Veterans. This calculates to ~17 Veterans die by Suicide daily.

 

I ask that you take the time to learn the signs and indicators of a crisis!! Learn to Recognize the Red Flags by CLICKING ON THIS LINK.

 

As a friend and family member – if you’re going through a difficult time in life and need some assistance, please reach out for help! Call the numbers below!! You can always reach out to me or call me if you want to talk as well! I don’t want to lose any more of my family and friends to Suicide.

 

RETIREMENT TRANSITION

As I begin this military transition, I often feel stressed, anxious, nervous and excited – all at the same time. For the last 22-years, life has been fairly predictable, always having a steady paycheck, and knowing that I had a job. As I look forward to retiring, things will be different in the “civilian world.” It will be a new way of thinking, talking, and integrating. There is a tremendous amount of assets available assisting me in preparing for this transition. I am very thankful for everyone helping me in this process. My typical day consists of spending 6 to 8-hours speaking with mentors, participating in webinars, or doing the “homework” required to transition.

 

One thing that has kept my mind focused during this process is listening to “Thank You, Now What;” a biweekly podcast about life after the service. This podcast has featured many service members that have discussed the reason for them joining the military; their challenges before, during and after the military; and how they were able to adapt to life after the service.

 

If you have the opportunity to listen to this podcast, you’d gain a huge appreciation for what Veterans are doing in their communities after serving.

 

MILITARY MEMORY

This week, I reflect on my first deployment to Afghanistan with the 2^nd Battalion, 5^th Infantry Regiment “Bobcats.” This deployment definitely had its challenges, but we did take some time to embrace the Afghan culture. Approximately a month before we departed Afghanistan to return to Hawaii, our unit leaders decided to allow a local farmer to come on base to allow the Soldiers to ride and take pictures on a camel. I thought this was the greatest thing ever, and now can say that I rode a camel in Afghanistan!

Thanks for reading and hope you have an amazing week! Be Safe and Spread Some Aloha!